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Many people described this book as "dark" which I had initially questioned. The story is essentially about two people who kept coming back to each other in the span of years. It's about a toxic relationship they couldn't quit. How "dark" could it be? I've read angst and I enjoy angst so maybe my definition of "dark" isn't the same as everyone else's.
When I started to read, I was enjoying it. I like reading about the college setting. I haven't come across too many books with the characters in college other than fanfiction. As the story built and we got to know the two main characters - Lucy and Stephen - through alternating POVs, I could see where it was headed. Halfway through the book, I felt myself wearing down. I'm not sure if it was because I found it "too dark" but I just thought to myself, I need a break. I read something else in the meantime and finished that relatively quick before diving back into this.
It was a lot of repetition and many pointed out how that was annoying, however, I think it was necessary on the author's part just to show that this is what the characters did for years on end. They got together and then pulled back and on and on and on. It was enjoyable for me, but also very difficult. I wasn't sure why. The people who I spoke to about this book were convinced I hated and should DNF it but I couldn't. I was invested. I needed to know how this trainwreck collapsed. When I say trainwreck, I mean these characters.
After getting through 3/4 of the book, I finally realized what it was that was bothering me. While it was evident from the very beginning how Lucy felt for Stephen, he never said anything about how he felt about her. His romantic words to her often felt fabricated. Only said so he can placate her into sleeping with him. So much of it was just them sleeping together, making it a physical thing for him, and I needed to know that it was a little more than that for him. It was never explicitly said, though. Maybe it was always just physical for him. Maybe that was why he kept coming back. Who did he love then from all the women he was with in the book? I need to know more about him and how he ended up. Was he always just meant to be a piece of shit?
Aside from all of that, the voice was good. I did find the fat-shaming and the racist remark said at one point in the book to be off-putting. I'm still waiting for the growth of these characters. Lucy got it, but there was still a lot of unresolved things.
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