note to self: vol. 2
October 29, 2017 • life, musings, note to self, personal
- Some people may ask for your advice, but instead do the opposite of what you tell them. Rather than butt in, let them make their own mistakes. They’ll eventually learn on their own.
- Don’t be ashamed of the things that make you happy. Share it openly and scream it from the rooftops. The people whose opinions you’re worried about don’t matter that much anyway.
- Allowing friends who you’ve had a falling out with back into your life might be a good thing. Just keep in mind to always put yourself first.
- Don’t worry or think about the people who hurt you. Karma is definitely real.
- When you wish for something and you truly hold onto the hope that you’ll achieve it, it will eventually happen. It might not feel like it at the time, but the universe works in funny ways.
my (not so) perfect life
October 22, 2017 • life, musings, personal
Recently I read a book by one of my favorite authors, Sophie Kinsella, titled My (Not So) Perfect Life. The protagonist, Katie, much like myself, is trying her best to adult and find a place for herself in a big city. She views several of her co-workers as people who are living “the perfect life” while she struggles with money, love, and family issues. Despite that, she curates a nice Instagram feed to fool those who follow her into thinking that she doesn’t have it so bad. As the story progresses, she learns that “the perfect life” doesn’t exist. From the outside it might seem like it, but once you really look into it, everyone’s got problems.
Like Katie, I’ve definitely whined about my life and pointed out those who seemed to have it all together, such as in this previous blog post. I talked about how some people always get what they want easily while I have to work a bit harder than them. Soon after that, I vented to a friend about someone we both know who has many privileges and how I’m so overwhelmingly jealous of them. My friend reminded me then that this person actually does have a lot of issues, some of which they shared with us, and what’s unfair is me thinking that they've got a perfect life.
It took a moment for me to admit to myself that I was wrong. I shouldn’t assume anything about anyone’s life because I don’t know what they’re really going through. Instagram, Twitter and Facebook might make it seem like they’re living a great life, but that’s not always the case. In fact, I was on the receiving end of this way of thinking twice within the past month. Two people told me that I seem to be living my best life based on what they’ve seen on my Instagram. I’m always traveling, going out to eat, and meeting exciting people.
While I won’t deny that I have a great life and do count my blessings, that’s not entirely the case. I put the best of my life on Instagram because no one ever wants to post or see the ugly bits. These people who follow me on Instagram didn’t see the days I spent at home, feeling down. They didn’t see the times I was crippled with anxiety because I couldn’t find a job and felt pressure when I saw everyone else around me succeeding. They also didn’t see how lonely I felt when I didn’t have any friends to call up during nights when I wanted to go out because I was so sick of being home.
Social media shows us something different -- we all know that. This conversation has been done for a while, but it’s still a little difficult to separate real life from online. It’s not that things are fake on social media, it’s just that they’re only the good parts, as I said above. Next time I want to compare myself to someone or be jealous of how much more exciting their life is, I’ll have to remind myself that not only is my life also exciting, but I should never assume I know someone through their perfectly edited picture.
“Every time you see someone’s bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do. And every time you see your own crappy truth and feel despair and think, ‘Is this my life?’, remember: It’s not. Everyone’s got a bright-and-shiny, even if it’s hard to find sometimes.”
- Sophie Kinsella, My (Not So) Perfect Life
seven important tips for all job interviews
October 15, 2017 • musings, work
It’s funny that I’m even attempting to write this when I, myself, don’t have any clue as to what I’m doing regarding most things in life. I sort of fake it till I make it through almost everything and somehow it works. However, after the number of job interviews I’ve had this past year, I’ve gathered some notes and tips that have helped me succeed and I’ve offered them to at least three people this past week who I know are in the middle of interviews as well. So I figured, why not make a post out of it? I’m sure there are others who are also looking for jobs and could use a couple of these.
These tips are some that I’ve learned as time went on. It’s embarrassing how long it took me to understand some of them and as soon as I did, I face palmed thinking of every time prior to that when I messed up during a job interview. They should seriously teach a class on this or something because I can’t be the only one who did some of these incorrectly. Or maybe I am. *shrug*
1) Don’t wing it.
I know this is obvious, but there’s been one too many times where I’ve attempted to wing it. I thought, what could be so hard? They’re just going to ask me some questions and I don’t want to sound robotic or practiced, so I’ll live in the moment. It has never worked and I’ve sounded like a moron. So, really, this is the biggest one - always be prepared. These interviewers are spending valuable time looking for the right candidate and this is a working business so you can’t just half ass it and waste their time if you’re not going to take it seriously.
2) Know the job role and responsibilities.
The whole point of a job interview is for you to convince the interviewer that you’re fit for the position you’re interviewing for. You have to know the job role and responsibilities to a good degree so that when they ask you things about your experiences or your skills, you can bring it back to how you did something in a previous job that matches up with this one. When you don’t have a particular skill or experience, tell them that you’re someone who is eager to learn and gain those very skills and experience that you lack.
There were a few interviews where I just babbled when they asked me about my job experiences. I never tied it in properly, so it was very messy.
3) Research the company through LinkedIn and Glassdoor.
You should know the basics of the company before going in for the interview. Who they are, what they do, how they do it, etc. I don’t necessarily go too deep into it, but I try finding general information on the first page of their website, or I go to LinkedIn and Glassdoor. With LinkedIn, you can find about the company, look at their employees and see what they do, and basically how it all fits together. Glassdoor is also extremely helpful because they allow current and former employees to review the company with pros, cons, benefits, etc. People who interview with them are also able to review them and the interview process. They’ll even add common questions asked during the interview.
4) Run through common interview questions and have a general idea of what you’re going to say.
I have a board on Pinterest that have a couple of links/pictures that list out general interview questions and give an overview on how you can answer them. Before every interview, I run through these questions and try to brief myself on how I’d answer them. It’s super helpful and gets you in the right mindset.
5) Always ask questions.
Up until a mere few months ago, I was always under the impression that you should never ask questions when the interviewer asks you if you have any questions. I assumed it was bothersome and made you seem like you didn’t have a clue about anything. However, I was speaking to a recruiter at one of my previous jobs and she was giving me some tips for future interviews. One of them, as she told me, was to always ask questions otherwise the interviewers think you don’t care! I sat there shook for a good minute. If I ever did ask questions during interviews, it was things like when am I hearing back from you, or something generic like that. Now I know that you’re supposed to ask meaningful questions about the company, the position you’re applying for, etc. It’s actually very helpful because they give you a more broad sense of what to expect from the job and their work culture within the company.
6) Engage with them in regards to your questions.
After learning the above tip, I started asking questions during my interviews, but I didn’t really engage with the interviewer after they answered. I just jumped into the next question because I didn’t want to waste their time. Usually they ask you to ask questions toward the end of the interview, so I was always trying to get going. But it’s super important to ask questions and then engage with them. Respond back with your thoughts on their answers, always bring it back to how you’re fit for the role, and how their answers and information interests you so they know you care.
7) Thank you notes.
Everyone knows to write thank you notes after the interview, but there’s this post I found on Pinterest that honestly changed the game for me. It really breaks down how you should write your note, how long after, and what not to write. Because of this, my thank you notes have actually been getting responses, which has never happened before.
I’m not suddenly an expert in interviews because I do still get nervous and feel like I’m going to vomit, but this has helped! I’ve been feeling more confident after some of my recent ones, which doesn’t always happen. I hope this is helpful for you as well and that you’re able to ace your next interview.
from my ears to yours: vol. 1
October 8, 2017 • musings, playlists
Currently, my obsession is making Spotify playlists. I tend to be a little extra by titling them, creating cute covers, and blurbs to describe the songs. A lot of work goes into picking the songs and their arrangement as well. I like having a perfectly cohesive collection that effortlessly move into each other and are intertwined with the same theme.
With that being said, I thought I could share some of these playlists I’ve spent time slaving over. And I don’t mean to brag but I have great taste in music and these songs are bomb. I might even make this an occasional post series. So without further ado, here they are!
caught up in you
a playlist for when you’re in love or want to be in love
take me home
a playlist full of slow songs that will make you look like the moon emoji
a frantic girl
a playlist i made when my mind felt chaotic and i needed it to stop
girl crush, heart rush
a playlist about being a girl and loving them
renegade heart
a playlist for when you want to wear your leather jacket
a playlist for when you want to wear your leather jacket
I hope you guys like these, and if you don’t, then I hope I inspired you to make your own. And when you do, please share them with me because I love listening to other people's playlists as well! I believe bonds that are created or strengthened through music are most beautiful. Music is how I became best friends with some of the best people I know.
A couple of months ago, I wrote a post on graduating college and moving forward with my life. In that post, I talked about how I wasn’t really sure what I was going to be doing after graduation. There was talk of grad schools and jobs and possible adventure. There weren’t concrete plans, but there was a semblance of one, and it was positive.
Fast forward five months and I’ve been stuck in the strangest limbo.
I knew post grad life would be hard having seen some of my friends struggle, but for some reason, I just didn’t anticipate it bringing me down as much as it has. I’ve always been driven by productivity, though, my family might not agree because I’m pretty lazy when it comes to housework. But it’s true. After attending school for nearly twenty years of my life, I’ve become accustomed to having a schedule -- having something to do.
So much so, that within the past few years, I’ve noticed that I can never just sit and do one thing. I constantly need to be doing two or more things at once. When I was younger, I allowed myself to sit down and read a book in its entirety, with no care as to how long it took me. Now, I feel guilty for sitting down for more than five minutes with a book. I feel guilty if I’m watching a TV show or a movie and not doing something else along with it. I feel like I’m wasting time and should be doing something else. Multi-tasking has been so embedded into me that I can’t tell if it’s a blessing or a curse.
Given that, it’s been rough not having done anything substantial this past summer. I’ve been temping at a company for a bit, but I am in a place where I’m yearning for something more permanent. I want a solid job that will give my life discipline and direction. Who knew it’d be so hard?
Doubts started to form in my head. Was I not good enough for any company? Did I suck at interviews? Did I suck in general? Getting rejected, or more often not getting a response at all, is disheartening. It starts to mess with your self-esteem, really. I’ve felt I’ve been at one of my lowest this past summer, just trying to figure certain things out. One of the main things I’m always asked is -- what is it that I want to do? Truth is, I don’t know! I have goals, but not specific ones and I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing. It doesn’t mean my dedication to something will be any less. I sincerely mean when I say this, but I won’t half ass something and try it out for the heck of it. I’ll give my 110% into everything I do.
Furthermore, it’s been dawning on me lately how hard I have to work every time I want something. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean a job, but so many other aspects of my life. I feel like I’m always putting in the extra work while it just comes so easy for other people. Sometimes, I’ll even put in the work and still not get what I want. It’s not healthy to compare myself to others -- I know that -- but I can’t help but resent the world at times because for once I just want things to come easy. I don’t want to have to compete. I want to have a goal and be able to achieve it without dragging myself through hell and back for it.
Regardless, I’ll always keep trying. I’ll always put my best foot forward and give my all into achieving something I want. It’s been said that nothing ever comes easy in life, and maybe that's something I still need to accept and not be so bitter over.
For a while, I did let myself go and give in to the notion that I wasn’t going to amount to anything. Nothing I want will come easy so why try? But it took the support of my family and friends as well as the belief I have in myself to know that that wasn’t true. I have been in rock bottom and lower. I’ve made it out and I’ve worked too hard to come this far and give up. Everyday I’m trying to chin up and do little things that will keep me in the right mindset. I really hope this positivity and drive will get me to where I need to be soon enough.
“i know it’s hard
believe me
i know it feels like
tomorrow will never come
and today will be the most
difficult day to get get through
but i swear you will get through
the hurt will pass
as it always does
if you give it time and let it
so let it go
slowly
like a broken promise
let it go.”
- rupi kaur
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