Recently I read a book by one of my favorite authors, Sophie Kinsella, titled My (Not So) Perfect Life. The protagonist, Katie, much like myself, is trying her best to adult and find a place for herself in a big city. She views several of her co-workers as people who are living “the perfect life” while she struggles with money, love, and family issues. Despite that, she curates a nice Instagram feed to fool those who follow her into thinking that she doesn’t have it so bad. As the story progresses, she learns that “the perfect life” doesn’t exist. From the outside it might seem like it, but once you really look into it, everyone’s got problems.
Like Katie, I’ve definitely whined about my life and pointed out those who seemed to have it all together, such as in this previous blog post. I talked about how some people always get what they want easily while I have to work a bit harder than them. Soon after that, I vented to a friend about someone we both know who has many privileges and how I’m so overwhelmingly jealous of them. My friend reminded me then that this person actually does have a lot of issues, some of which they shared with us, and what’s unfair is me thinking that they've got a perfect life.
It took a moment for me to admit to myself that I was wrong. I shouldn’t assume anything about anyone’s life because I don’t know what they’re really going through. Instagram, Twitter and Facebook might make it seem like they’re living a great life, but that’s not always the case. In fact, I was on the receiving end of this way of thinking twice within the past month. Two people told me that I seem to be living my best life based on what they’ve seen on my Instagram. I’m always traveling, going out to eat, and meeting exciting people.
While I won’t deny that I have a great life and do count my blessings, that’s not entirely the case. I put the best of my life on Instagram because no one ever wants to post or see the ugly bits. These people who follow me on Instagram didn’t see the days I spent at home, feeling down. They didn’t see the times I was crippled with anxiety because I couldn’t find a job and felt pressure when I saw everyone else around me succeeding. They also didn’t see how lonely I felt when I didn’t have any friends to call up during nights when I wanted to go out because I was so sick of being home.
Social media shows us something different -- we all know that. This conversation has been done for a while, but it’s still a little difficult to separate real life from online. It’s not that things are fake on social media, it’s just that they’re only the good parts, as I said above. Next time I want to compare myself to someone or be jealous of how much more exciting their life is, I’ll have to remind myself that not only is my life also exciting, but I should never assume I know someone through their perfectly edited picture.
“Every time you see someone’s bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do. And every time you see your own crappy truth and feel despair and think, ‘Is this my life?’, remember: It’s not. Everyone’s got a bright-and-shiny, even if it’s hard to find sometimes.”
- Sophie Kinsella, My (Not So) Perfect Life
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