tell me sweet little lies.
January 13, 2019 • 2019, book review, carola lovering, tell me lies
♡
Many people described this book as "dark" which I had initially questioned. The story is essentially about two people who kept coming back to each other in the span of years. It's about a toxic relationship they couldn't quit. How "dark" could it be? I've read angst and I enjoy angst so maybe my definition of "dark" isn't the same as everyone else's.
When I started to read, I was enjoying it. I like reading about the college setting. I haven't come across too many books with the characters in college other than fanfiction. As the story built and we got to know the two main characters - Lucy and Stephen - through alternating POVs, I could see where it was headed. Halfway through the book, I felt myself wearing down. I'm not sure if it was because I found it "too dark" but I just thought to myself, I need a break. I read something else in the meantime and finished that relatively quick before diving back into this.
It was a lot of repetition and many pointed out how that was annoying, however, I think it was necessary on the author's part just to show that this is what the characters did for years on end. They got together and then pulled back and on and on and on. It was enjoyable for me, but also very difficult. I wasn't sure why. The people who I spoke to about this book were convinced I hated and should DNF it but I couldn't. I was invested. I needed to know how this trainwreck collapsed. When I say trainwreck, I mean these characters.
After getting through 3/4 of the book, I finally realized what it was that was bothering me. While it was evident from the very beginning how Lucy felt for Stephen, he never said anything about how he felt about her. His romantic words to her often felt fabricated. Only said so he can placate her into sleeping with him. So much of it was just them sleeping together, making it a physical thing for him, and I needed to know that it was a little more than that for him. It was never explicitly said, though. Maybe it was always just physical for him. Maybe that was why he kept coming back. Who did he love then from all the women he was with in the book? I need to know more about him and how he ended up. Was he always just meant to be a piece of shit?
Aside from all of that, the voice was good. I did find the fat-shaming and the racist remark said at one point in the book to be off-putting. I'm still waiting for the growth of these characters. Lucy got it, but there was still a lot of unresolved things.
♡
I was so taken by this book from the minute I started reading it. Tanner is sweet, and kind, and so wonderful. Sebastian has the nicest heart, and is so good, and I wanted to protect him so badly. The way the story evolved and their friendship turned to more had me turning the pages to read more and more and more. Every single time Tanner thought something is happening here, something is happening between us, I felt it too.
Although I didn't like Autumn, her character, or the way she served the plot, there were some points where she was great. I wish that the author stuck to making her a supportive best friend and kept it at that. I don't think the added element of her and Tanner was necessary. It felt a bit distracting and flawed both his character and Autumn's.
I'm not sure what took me so long in reading this, but I'm so glad I finally did. My heart is warm, but now I'm severely book hung over and want to read it again.
Losing friends used to scare me. I felt like it defined who I was, if I was good person or not, if I was able to keep any without making them hate me or get bored of me. But I'm realizing that losing people is natural and it's how it was meant to be all along.
My fear used to make me hold on to them. If these people came back to me, I had to try and give them another chance. Maybe we could be like we used to be. That never works, though. Too much happens for it to go back to how it was. Truth of the matter is, when people leave my life, I become a little bit of a new person. I grow and evolve away from them. So when they're back, we can't be who we used to be because I'm different. I'm not that same person anymore.
And that's okay. It's okay that they're no longer in my life. It's okay that I've changed.
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
-Maggie Rogers
from my ears to yours: vol. 2
April 4, 2018 • featured, musings, playlists
somewhere there's a party
a playlist for a party of one
dancing at discos
a playlist for when it's a typical tuesday night and you're listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
xo
a playlist for when you're driving through desert plains with the windows down
burn like diamonds
a playlist for when you're driving through the countryside with the windows down
sweet divine
a playlist for the night time
sleeping near the edge
a playlist for when things feel heavy
be born again
a playlist for when you’re feeling cool by the pool
sink into my soul
a playlist for when you need quiet
an empty page
a playlist for when you're laying down after a long day
heaven sent
heaven sent
a playlist for when you've got a spring in your step and a smile on your face
note to self: vol. 3
February 11, 2018 • featured, life, musings, note to self, personal
- Control what you can and confront what you can’t.
- Remember that life won’t always go according to plan. Sometimes things won’t work out or they’ll go off track, but that’s no reason to lose sight of what the main goal is or what is ahead.
- Things happen for a reason. In the end, it’s for the better. Be optimistic.
- When life presents you with something, take full advantage of it.
- Once again, do more of what makes you happy without feeling guilty about it.
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